On Life Lately
Like so many this year, my heart has been heavy with the weight of so many things currently happening in our world. There is no need for me to enumerate all of the challenging and heartbreaking things that have gone on this year because we all have lived through it. I suspect that many of you, like me, have found yourself quietly wondering what we can actually do to bring change, to make this world a better place, and honestly, just how to navigate life right now.
I have been quiet as I contemplate all that is going on. I have never been one to pour out my feelings to the world, nor do I plan to begin to do that now, but for those of you who follow along with my, I will share a few things that I have been thinking about, doing, and how some things have changed for me.
Business
I have been in the wedding industry since 2012 and I am so grateful to have been given the opportunities that this wonderful community has provided. Over the past few years, however, I have felt that it may be time for me to step back a bit. While I had not formally announced anything, this year I have not taken on any wedding work - something that I actually decided in January before the pandemic hit the United States. While I feel for all of those in the industry who have faced a myriad of challenges this year, I am grateful that I had already made my decision to transition my business out of weddings - at least for a season.
My focus is shifting to my embossers, growing my shop, and a few other dreams that have been stirring for quite a while now. At the same time, I am choosing to go about this shift slowly and intentionally as I concentrate a bit more on being a mother to my four year old little girl. I know that these dreams will have their proper time to take more of a priority, but for now, I am grateful for the place in which I find myself.
You may or may not have noticed, but I have not posted on my Instagram account since February. This happened for a few reasons, one being that I had been growing increasingly tired of keeping up on the platform. Another factor for me is that, with so much happening in the word between the pandemic, racial injustice, and so much mote, I felt that I could not post in good conscience without addressing these issues, however I am not a writer and, truthfully, I did not know how to put into words what I was feeling. More than that, I know that it does not matter what I am feeling - no one cares and that is fine. I did not feel the need to add my voice into the cacophony, even if my intent had been a good one.
Another reason that I have stayed off of Instagram is that I really, and I mean really, enjoyed not being on it. The truth is that I do still think that Instagram and social media is important for businesses, but at this point in my life and my business, I just do not want to be on it. Although I may have to log on to do a few update posts, I am choosing to let it go for this season and see what happens.
Motherhood
As I mentioned, I have a sweet four year old daughter at home with me. This was to be her last year before she would be going to kindergarten and I made the conscious choice to take a big step back from my business ambitions and to focus more on her this last year that I have her at home most of the time.
Then, in March, everything shut down including her few hours a week preschool. I have been so thankful that God aligned the timing of my decision to step back with the pandemic so that I already had the margin of a little extra time to be with her instead of having to struggle to balance getting all of my work done, beginning a new part of my business, and devote the time to her that I wanted.
I know that I am extremely fortunate to be in this position to be able to make this decision and I also admire parents who want to press on with their work. For me, however, this is what I chose and I am thankful that I am able to have this time to spend with her without having to worry too much about my business.
Slowing down
I imagine that many of you have also had a slow-down over these past months. None of my family are essential workers and my daughter is not yet in school, so our routine has slowed down quite a bite, even though I would not have called us super busy before.
The quieter (well, sort of, we are working on the “inside voice” concept with our little girl ha ha) life-at-home routine is actually something that I have secretly relished. I enjoy getting to do preschool board meetings and even my bible study via Zoom calls with a nice cup of tea in my hand. As an introvert, I have not felt the struggle of not seeing people as much, because a phone call or Zoom chat fills my need for socializing.
Although it is strange to have days where not much is accomplished except for playing pretend, reading stories, and housework, I have to remind myself that it is alright and that not every day has to be super productive. Who sets that standard of productivity anyhow? My to-do list is always long, but I often find that at least 50% of it rolls to the next day and gets done when it gets done and that is alright -or, should I say, I am working on letting it be alright.
Hobbies
Something that I have very much enjoyed about the slower pace of life lately is getting to enjoy some of my hobbies again. I love to sew and I have gotten my sewing machine and serge out permanently and have been able to actually use them. I made a top and dress for myself and I sewed my daughter’s costume this year - which was the most challenging thing that I have ever made! I have several more sewing projects planned and have enjoyed learning more techniques as I progress.
I also must admit that I love YouTube. I have fallen down quite a few rabbit holes of video topics, mostly educational historical documentaries, but also some that are more frivolous and fun. Perhaps some day I will share a few that I love.
If any of you have made it to the end of this post, I am impressed! I wanted to share a bit about what I have been up to and about life as opening for this blog, but moving forward the personal posts will probably be fewer and far between. In an case, thank you for following along and I would love for you to comment and share your thoughts on this strange time, what you have been up to, and if you have any favorite YouTube channels!